Identity and nationality are two topics that intrigue me. I have been watching Anthony Bourdain a lot lately. Mostly because I love it, but also because I have a lot of free time on my hands right now. Apart from Anthony's attitude and being able to see so many countries and cities and learn about their food, I love how he almost always meets and expat sometime during the show. In almost every city you have the people whose families are from the country and who have always been there and feel 100% from the place. And then you have the immigrants, who have been there for generations and feel as much from their original country as from the country they currently live in. And then there are the real ex-pats who for some reason decide to move to another country and live there, most of them because they love the place and decide thats where they want to live. I think one of my favorite ex-pats from the show was in Thailand, or maybe Indonesia, I can't remember. Anyways, what I liked about what him is that when Anthony asked him why he had decided to live there he answered that he had travelled a lot and everywhere he went he would ask himself "Could I live here?" and everywhere he went his answer was no. Until one day he said yes and so he sold most of his things back home and moved.
I wish life were that easy for me. I don't always ask myself that question, but I have asked it in certain places. I spent most of my life in Quito, Ecuador. And although I love this country most of my life I have been planning how to get out. And then I went to college in Medellín, Colombia and although it is a beautiful city, in the first week I was there I knew that I didn't want to live there for ever. Many people believed that I could change my mind and that the first years of college are always hard, especially when you are in a city where you don't know anyone or have any family. But I studied there for more or less 4 years and there was no moment where I thought, "this is where I could live for the rest of my life." Then I lived in Bogotá for two months. I always thought if there was any Colombian city which I would love to live in it would be Bogotá. First of all I was born there, and then most of my family lives there. It is a great city with so many things to see and do. I loved this city all my life and since our family lives there we would visit it once a year, probably thanks to the fact that it is right next to Ecuador. However, a week after actually living and working there maybe even less, I knew that I didn't want to live there either. I also realized that even though I was born in Colombia I would always be a tourist there. I have lots most of my accent and whenever I meet someone in Colombia they ask me right away where I am from, and most of the times don't believe me when I say I am from Colombia. I actually went through college telling everyone I was from Ecuador, it made it easier and most of the time I thought it was true. During all my college life I considered myself Ecuadorian.
It wasn't until a couple of days ago that I started questioning my nationality once again. When I was in school I considered myself Colombian until I went to Colombia and experienced culture shock in birth country, plus I was considered a foreigner there. Then I decided I must be Ecuadorian because that is where I grew up, that is the culture that I know and where I thought I could pass of as a natural citizen. And then, last friday, I was at the gym and a man came up to me and asked me, "so what part of Colombia are you from?" At first I thought well he probably heard my mom speak and although she has lived here 24 years she still has a strong Colombian accent, and I told him I was practically Ecuadorian because I had lived here all my life. He quickly rejected this idea and told me it was great how after living here for such a long time I still had such a strong accent. If he only knew that in Colombia no one considers my accent Colombian.
So where am I from? If in Colombia I am considered a foreigner, and apparently now I am considered a foreigner here in Ecuador, where I lived all my life, where does that leave me?
What makes a person belong to one country? is it your passport? is it where you have spent more time? or where you know the most about the culture? Where you feel most comfortable with the culture? Or maybe you just decide? Maybe its all about me saying "well, I am from this place. period." Or does society decide for you?
Today I was watching Anthony Bourdain traveling around the Rust Belt in the USA. At one point of the show he says "American food is whatever food is being made in America in this moment." Does that apply to people? Is someone from the place he is living at the moment? Does that mean I was Colombian when I was in Colombia? Italian when I was living in Milano? and now Ecuadorian because now I am back in Quito?
Or should I stick to the fact that my passport says I am from Colombia, as well as all my identity cards?
Maybe I don't belong anywhere and so I belong everywhere at the same time. I have encountered people from all over the world who believe in the same basic concept: nationalities are only lines on a map.
